I’ve been dragging my feet on writing this particular message to you because the timing is important and I wanted to have just the right message. But I’ve decided that I’m just going to toss that notion out the door and just be totally self-indulgent in sharing with you what’s in my head this holiday season.
One of the reasons that December is so important to me, is that there are a lot of days in the month that have deep value to me. Many days for reflecting and thinking about the past, the present, and the future…
I’m actually writing this on Sunday morning, December 5th. Lee and I call this our “gotcha day.” We met via blind date on December 5th, 2007. For nine years, it was our anniversary until we got married five years ago on November 6th and it became our official anniversary. But we still celebrate December 5th as well.
By the time you read this, my birthday (the 12th) will have come and gone. I will probably spend it alone since we really don’t know anyone here yet and Lee almost always has to work on my birthday. My attention will be very focused on the remaining 12 days until Christmas. (Because I think too much) my focus is also already on the changing of the year and what that will mean in this little town Lee and I now live in. In Denver, I had a place I would go to “visit my mother.” I’ve scoped out the place to do that where we live now and I’ll be needing pink roses to take to her on her birthday (the 24th.)
All of these things are normal and yet none of it is normal. I see mountains outside my windows, but there’s no snow on top of them. There are no evergreen trees decorated in my front yard and almost every tree I see is a palm tree. There is something that is very disorienting about a holiday season in shorts and t-shirts and sandals (with apologies to those down under.) I know that in time it will become the new normal for us. But I think my body is confused. As much as I love Christmas, I am having a hard time feeling it because the outside parts don’t match my interpretation of the holiday. (Cue Cindy Lou Who singing “Where are You Christmas?”)
And yet, what matters most about the holidays is what’s inside.
I am a very introspective person. I question what I feel and why am I feeling it all the time. I reflect upon the meaning of moments and the passing of time on a regular basis. I believe that the reason I am so gifted with signs from the angels and the Divine is because I’m so diligent about looking for them. And so I am very focused on the deep meaning of this big change in Lee’s and Riley’s and my lives. When you overlap that with the other milestones happening right now, perhaps I’m just overwhelmed by it all. I keep reaching for the Peace cup rather than the Joy cup (see blog from 11/29/21) because I think that’s what is missing for me right now is the peace part. But maybe I need to be reaching for the Joy cup. Maybe it’s time to stop analyzing everything and just “be.”
As silly and childlike as I can obviously be, I think it’s possible that I’ve gotten just a little too serious as I’ve gotten older. I look in the mirror and see the aging and the gray hair and it doesn’t fit with who I feel that I really am. So am I becoming someone different? Or am I just thinking too much?
I know that all of this is very common for people as they get older. It’s just a lot to adjust to.
You know what I need? I need Christmas movies. It’s time for The Santa Clause, The Sound of Music, and Scrooged. I need a little Arthur Christmas and A Wish for Wings That Work.
Yup. I’m switching to the Joy cup.
Happy Birthday to me.
~Radleigh
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I can sooooo relate to where you say you’re at. I too LOVE Christmas, the spirit of Christmas, the beautiful lights, and seeing all the yards with AMAZING decorations abound. I’ve been watching Christmas movies for well over a month. I just can’t seem to shake the heaviness in my heart.
Yes! This post and your comment sum up how i am feeling lately. i think some of it is really the world’s collective trauma right now.
I understand completely. When I get overwhelmed or can’t decide what it is I need, I always turn to Gratitude. I start making my list of all I’m grateful for and it will lead me to the answers I need, including Joy and Peace. I’ll start today with this…. I am grateful for YOU Radleigh – because my very first introduction to oracle cards led me to your class with Doreen many years ago. It set a foundation for all that I do now as a Reiki Master and Wisdom Teacher. Sending you and your family much love this holiday season.
Happy birthday Rad! This struck a chord within me as well. I am always looking forward, and not in the present as I could be. My brain swirls lately with the coming of the New year, and my sober anniversary on 1/1. On what I’m going to do differently, on how I need to make some changes to accept this new me, as I cannot fit the old way of doing things into who I am becoming. May your new adventure in a new place bring a new type of joy to your lives, and may you embrace new traditions as you acclimate to your new surroundings. Bringing together new and old is how our lives evolve, and this year I get to burn my very first Yule log! May you, Lee, and Princess Riley make new memories to look back upon, and cherish the old with love and happiness. Blessed be dear friends.
I totally get what you’re feeling. Christmas isn’t about the snow and the tree. It’s about the presents of love and kindness we give each other and ourselves, not only on Christmas but all year long. P.S. My Dad’s birthday is Christmas Day (he as born at 12:03 AM Christmas morning). He is also in heaven. Maybe he knows your mom and they are celebrating together. Peace and blessings to you and your family.
Hi Radleigh
Wishing you a most joyously Happy Birthday
I too have Beloved family & dear friends who were born in December.
I’m 72 so a number of them have crossed over. You share your birthday with my maternal grandmother. I’m her first born grandchild and we were very close.
My awesome Dad was born on 12/27, his amazing sister on 12/20.
My BFF was born on 12/25 & my dear step-sister on 12/31.
One of the things we can count on in this human experience is CHANGE.
I’m a native of Los Angeles & have never experienced snow or a white Christmas. That’s a bucket list item.
Relax & release some of the over thinking
Take time to enjoy what is. ♥️♥️
My Mom, who passed 3 years ago, was also born on the magical blessed day of 12/12.
Wishing you a Happy Birthday & a Divine December with many blessings in 2022 in your new home
Happy Belated Birthday, Radleigh! May you be blessed and continue blessing us with many more years.
I want to acknowledge that adjusting to a new lifestyle in a new area at any time of the year can be a challenge especially at Christmas. As a sensitive soul, you, of course, feel the change possibly more than others. You & Lee have experienced a LOT of change in the past year and it simply takes time to adjust. You are wise to switch to the Joy Cup and simply accept the changes rather than analyze them or ‘fight’ them or whatever your kind and wise mind wants to do. There is so much joy awaiting you and us all if we only look for it. You are a joy to those of us who follow you and I personally wish you & Lee a Merry Christmas in your new home and know that you will find reasons to feel the joy! Sending blessings!
What a thoughtful message. Remember, dear Radleigh, that the highest emotion in Abraham’s hierarchy of emotions is JOY. Reach for joy and peace will follow. And your heart will fill with astonished love toward your new home and the many adventures that await. And age? It makes you wiser and even more able to use your inner child to inspire others. And the best we can do for others is bring our best selves to them. Joy, love, peace, dear teacher and wise soul!
Radleigh. Happy birthday. .. now it’s on to Christmas. Which can be merry. .so many things happen at Christmas time. ..merry Christmas to you and lee. Enjoy your home. And hope you find a nice place to put your roses for your mom. Moms are so special. ❤️❤️
I feel you Radleigh. But to me, how you feel you really are, doesn’t age. It can’t be touched by ageing, Also I think you are noticing the changes Radleigh and there are so many changes that you haven’t found your feet yet. Be patient with you and you will settle into the new of everything now and what’s coming. You’ll be great
Happy Birthday, Radleigh. Lot’s of changes for you Sag’s. My son’s bday is 12-21 and he’s feeling the changes, some good and some eh, but change can feel uncomfortable either way. Welcome to sunny California. We are lucky to have you. You’ll get used to the warm weather and it’s only a short trip to the snow. That’s what makes this state so wonderful. You have it all. Let yourself embrace your shadow side. After all that’s what many messages have been saying. You’ll find that child again. We always do. And I just watched the Santa Claus the other night. 🙂 It’s a good one and will put a smile on your face. Holidays were always the best time for me, but my family members keep dying around that time, ugh! I guess they don’t want me to forget about them. Like I could forget my mother and grandmother. I know you don’t know me personally, but I took one of your classes in-person in San Jose, CA and you taught me so much with card readings. If it weren’t for you, I don’t think I’d ever have come this far. Thank you. and have a Merry Xmas!
Happy birthday Radleigh from another December birthday person I sure yoi will be reaching for the joy cup very soon. HAPPY CHRISTMAS.
I know what it feels to be disoriented as I have moved many times and have lived in two different countries, (Canada and USA) and lived in different places (different climates) in both these countries. Most of my life, I have lived in places where it gets cold in the winter and now, I live in Texas, and some years, Christmas Day can be so warm, everyone is wearing summer clothes, which I still can’t get used to, after 12 years of living here. 🙂 So, I know what you are going through, Radleigh – settled in but not feeling grounded nor adjusted in a new place.
The older I get, the more I found myself focusing on the spiritual rather than this physical world. I have learned to focus on what helps me feel grounded and what gives me inner peace, rather than trying to adjust to a new place.
Radleigh, why not a cup that says ‘Peaceful and Joyful’ and then, you wouldn’t have to choose between Peace and Joy. Just fill your coffee mug, so it’s full with both PEACE and JOY!
May both you and Lee experience both PEACE and JOY throughout this Christmas season and as you adjust from evergreen trees to palm trees. There is beauty, hope, peace, joy and love – wherever we live!
Endless happy birthday love. Reading this now with tears – you have shared what I feel. Living in Australia away from my family in the UK – it is a different way of seeing Christmas. With the heat and different celebrations etc My mother’s birthday is the 19 th and I had no way to honour her – she loved bright flowers. My family back home have a pine wreath to take to place.
The changing body, the deep thinking, the journal etc literally what I do feel etc so by acknowledging so many feelings I am feeling a little shift / as I write in to joy!! So thank you and sending so much joy and more happy joy joy to you all for your new home, town and season.