I admit that I have a doing problem. I sort of always have. I work entirely too much and even when I’m not working, I’m doing something around the house. I am a compulsive multi-talker. I can’t even have a conversation on the phone with someone without also unloading the dishwasher or folding towels. Over time, my personal experience is that the Universe will eventually force me to stop. It will force me to rest.
That happened this past week when I had to have another round of oral surgery. This procedure was more intense than the last and required that I do nothing for a week.
I’m sorry. What did you say? A week?!?!
The real challenge for me in this is the guilt. My doing problem has a guilt trigger. If I just sit around and do nothing, I feel anxiety and guilt about it so I saved up writing projects for this time of non-movement.
The fascinating thing about being forced to do nothing is that it really makes me think. It really makes me go inward and ask “What the heck is wrong with me that I can’t just be? Why can’t I just rest?”
As I type this, it’s not even 4:30am in the morning and I have a post it note with a long list of things I can do while “resting” today. I’m thinking of tearing it up and just sleeping instead.
Many people know that Lee and I are about to make a big life change. We’re about to move across the country to live in a place that we’ve been vacationing at for the last decade. This big move is meant to be about simplifying our lives so that we can enjoy the quiet moments more. I find myself seriously wondering how I will handle that? Will I embrace it? (as I should) or will I fight it? We leave Colorado on September 29th so I guess we’re about to find out.
What about you? Do you have a doing problem? How do you handle it? I would sincerely like to know!
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I have signed up for the manifesting miracles looking forward to it. I have attended a couple other courses of yours so know this one will be great as well. Wishing you a speedy recovery
Same position, though I just had a back procedure two weeks ago. Four days later I met the realtor who’s selling our place, and it’s been pandemonium ever since. Take care and have a thorough recovery.
Radleigh you are such as inspiration. Praying that your move goes smoothly qnd wonderfully. Hope that oral surgery heals soon. Blessings to you and Lee.
I too struggle with this, any time off comes with a long to do list. The universe has forced me to slow down, rest, including while moving into my new office I fell down the stairs and broke my foot back in April. For 4 months!!! I was limited in walking, sleeping, being on the go. I’ve never taken more than a long 3 day weekend off work but this week I’m taking the whole week and thought I’d be anxious but I’ve gotten a better to do list: 2 hours reading a novel (not a work book, I’m a therapist always educating learning), 2 hours laying in the sun, 2 hour hike in nature, 1 hour sauna. I now schedule “rest, healing, relaxing” on my to do list and it feels great. It’s about balance for me. I love my job so I’d work (and have) 7 days a week helping people but when I was in pain, not sleeping good, pushing myself, I saw I wasn’t as good for my clients. Down time is still productive. When I do “nothing” it helps me help others and that’s me living my purpose.
Ha, I wish I had a doing problem! I have the opposite, such a procrastination problem. Or a read read read problem because it’s easier to appear to myself that I’m studying before doing things than actually just diving in and doing them. We need to find the happy middle!
I do have a “doing” problem just like you! I can’t stand to “do nothing”! I read, do jigsaw puzzles, or study when I have to be still (which is a lot of time because of COVID). I used to hand quilt and that easily burned time spent sitting in doctors’ offices with my kids checkups or my own. One of my favorite quilters is a guy that is a fantastic needle arts worker. You name it, he can do it!!!
I can’t believe you are moving right on the heels of this surgery you just had! I hope you are moving to Cali because I will feel like we are neighbors no matter where you live. LOL
Wishing you a speedy recovery and that your move will bring you and Lee more peace and happiness than you can even imagine. God bless you both!
When I first started homeschooling my children, the advise an old timer home-school mom gave me was ‘Do NOT Burn Yourself Out.’ That lesson has stayed with me. And now, my husband and I have full custody of our young grand-daughter and I am homeschooling her. Today, it is the first day she is taking a nap since we picked her up two weeks ago. She has outgrown her naps – except today. It seems very timely as this is Labor Day and then, this blog post from Radleigh. With our 4 1/2 year old grand-daughter napping, my husband and I are able to find a few hours, in the middle of the afternoon, to Rest! To find peace, stillness and quiet. There are lots of things to do but they don’t all have to be done during nap time.
Health and recovery to you, Radleigh. And yes, why not live year round, in an area where you go on vacations. Safe travels as you journey to your dream town.
Been experiencing à LOT of not doing nothing the last year but not of my doing. First Corona in 1 month, doing nothing but praying to make it stop and then unemployed for 7 month . One might think I was devastated but it gave me clarity where to move on next and the fairy Cards helped me to guide me. Stillness but off coars did I want to do more . At the end before being employed again I was glad I had this time to think /blessings /Monica in Sweden
With me it is this or that. I am doing doing doing for a period of time (maybe a year or longer) or nothing gets done. At the moment nothing gets done or finished. I wanted to change the sheets today, well the weather was great so I was in the garden… Maybe I will do the bed tomorrow…. Kinda like bipolar, sigh
Good luck with the move and I am sure you will be fine
I also have a doing problem. It stems from childhood beliefs that being “idle” is wicked. I have been accused of having post it notes, on my post it notes. The best way I have dealt with this is to change my to do list entries. I make time in the list for walking in nature, 5 minutes eating an orange, or taking a slow bath. I limit myself to only one activity at a time ( no more watching a movie, reading emails and talking on the phone at same time). If working on a project, I set an alarm to ring every 45 minutes. I pause at the alarm for 5 minutes of deep breathing or walking around the room, or hugging my pets. By listing a balance of activity with “being” time I am more likely to stop the madness. Wishing you a quick recovery and easy move. Blessings
That’s beautiful! I love that you put those 5 minute activities on the list. What a great idea.
It helps me a lot to meditate thank you so much earthly angel
Oh gosh yes! My angels made sure I read this!
I find sometimes that forced rest is because something big is coming. And the angels need to do some stuff for us without our meddling hands!
Sleep well xxx
Thank you Radleigh, as it is almost 1 am, and I have had 5 days off, and I haven’t stopped.
You are the second person that I have heard going through dental issues. The other person is Cher. It’s kind of weird for me to read about it because I’m going through some serious dental issues myself and due to covid I’m not dealing with it well. I have to deal with these issues in order to start chemo. I’m definitely finding myself in a position where I could sure use some divine guidance and assistance.
I’m just the opposite of you, “do wise”. I’m physically disabled, alone and poor. Unfortunately, since I’m in those circumstances I have too much nothing time on my hands. The internet is my door to the outside world. This world is going through some serious dark times.
It’s not healthy to be in your extreme or in mine. I think it’s important to strive for a balance, but like you I don’t have a clue how to change. Some divine guidance would sure be appreciated.
I kind of feel like the hang-man card. I have had the time and the opportunity to view the world from a different perspective than most people, BUT the sad thing is that there is nothing I can do to change it. It’s not a comforting place to be.
I soooooo much understand your dilemma.
I have fibromyalgia and I litterly have to rest often, because I’d decided years ago to drop the medication, because it did no good for my body. (Becoming vegan now, changed my pain level)
When I have to rest, I do knitting or crocheting. In this way I can convince myself “legally” resting for a while.
Send you lots of love, and wish you a happy, joyful moving dear
I have a doing problem. I’m exactly as you described yourself. And how do I handle it? Gosh, hummmm, I handle it by just doing. I’ve heard all through my adult life that I need to just stop. But when I stop then things aren’t done and I’ve got to catch them up. If I do here and there I don’t have to take loads of extra time the catch up and that I do not like. Doing doesn’t bother me, never has and I sure prefer the doing to a personality that doesn’t do any day of the ding dong week!
Like you when I’m down and can’t just do I make lists of what I can do! But as I’m thinking about this as I write I’m realizing that many of those things are things I don’t normally do when I’m not in that place of stop. To me that is a sweet time for me to luxuriate and do “this” without pressures to do other things. I can focus right on that thing. Nice.
The one thing I have learned to do for myself in the last few years, I’m 57, is to allow several evenings a week to watch a show or movie. And just do that. I found doing anything while watching things was causing me to miss things so I stopped doing things like online orders that need to be done or even my nails so I could actually get the whole story. And that for me is doing. Lol. For me.
So, in conclusion how I have handled it has been through the process of learning to love myself. And accepting that I’m a doer is loving who I am and not needing to be someone else.
I had to send my comment before it was really complete so I would like to take a moment and say: after oral suegeries and what not you do need to stop and sleep because that is doing toward your healing! So you’re doing by not doing! So do that for sure.
Rest well and enough, that is what your body need. Sometime we dont see it that way but the mind needs a pause.Maybe that is the space and time for learning to accept a bit more to not control and let go. Take advantage of this time it is a blessing
Wish you the best !
Moving will be good for you in more than one way, you will see.
A New door is about to open, be ready to step in!
I share your challenge Rad. Sitting doing absolutely nothing is just not my gig on any level hahaha HOWEVER, hahaha I’m selective on what I chose to get done and what to continuously procrastinate and not do…. and there never seems to be a good time to do the things I procrastinate about hahaha I have managed to start doing a thought process of an end of the day list of what I did manage to get gone in a day. I figure that’s a good start in encouraging myself to do those less appeasing tasks. hahaha The up side is I’ll ALWAYS have things to do right!!! hahaha wishing you a speedy and thorough recovery Rad ❤️