By the time you read this I will no longer have covid. (Or I’d better not.) But at the time of this writing, I do. My husband is in retail and he brought it home as a little gift to me. We caught it with him pretty quick and immediately we did all the things you do. I banished him to the master bedroom, not to come out under any circumstances. I wore masks and gloves when I had to be near him and most meals, I just put outside the bedroom door, knocked, and ran.
Please keep in mind that last bit was his idea. He was desperate that I not get this from him. I took 4 tests over 3 days all coming back negative. But eventually the positive tests came.
Covid for Lee was intense. He was pretty sick, especially at the beginning. High fevers, night sweats, searing headaches, loss of taste. All of it really. But as you may have heard stories from other couples, covid for me was barely a cold. (At least at first.) For days I just had a raspy voice (hello Energetic Weather Reports!) and a little bit of tiredness. Eventually, I did have a single bumpy day, but it didn’t last. Lee’s version of covid continued to haunt him well past me feeling like nothing was happening beyond me doing a fairly good impersonation of Bill Clinton.
Believe it or not, the point of this blog isn’t covid.
While Lee was so sick, and I just simply wasn’t (even though we had the same thing) I started to ponder the nature of pain. Like so many men, Lee can be a really big baby when he’s sick. (Sound familiar ladies?) And so when he first got sick, I wondered to myself “okay, but how bad is it really?” Then I tested positive and initially it seemed like no big thing. And yet, I know my husband. I can see in those beautiful green eyes of his when he’s suffering. And he was suffering. But I wasn’t. And we both had covid. One must presume the same strain.
That’s when I started thinking about one person’s pain vs another person’s – or even my own. My mother used to say “don’t judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins.” (And don’t fuss at me for that saying. We’re part Cherokee and she could say that if she wanted to.) It’s a good analogy in that we can never know what any kind of pain feels like to someone vs how it would feel to us. Even if Lee’s and my experiences of covid were exactly the same, his life experiences, his emotional makeup, and his ability to handle pain are bound to be different from mine because of my life experiences, my emotional makeup, etc.
And the same is true of emotional wounds. I could have the same exact emotionally damaging experiences as any one of you reading this, but how deeply the wound cuts me could be completely different from how deeply it might have hurt you. I can’t see through your eyes. I sincerely wish I could sometimes. It would explain an awful lot. If we could see through each other’s eyes think how much the world might be healed.
Think of the compassion for one another that would be created. How much anguish and anger and hatred would be alleviated.
But we can’t. At least most of us can’t. So where does that leave us?
It leaves us with the responsibility to try. It means our only hope for true compassion for one another is to force ourselves to remember that how we see things is not how others see things. If we must struggle to remember that how other people feel about any given issue isn’t the same as how we feel about them, then struggle we must.
The world is a mess, friends. And that’s due in large part because we keep forgetting that what is black and white to us can be crystal clear to someone else and be the exact opposite of how we see things.
This has got to stop. We have got to find a way to awaken our compassion. Not just those who think like us, but for those who don’t.
There is no other way to peace except love. Love for everyone.
With you on the journey,
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i have covid too. my husband and i caught at Costco standing in line to pay for meds for our animals (its so much cheaper than the vets) . this virus is horrible. its been 3 weeks. thank god i stocked up on everything. big pot of chicken soup (throat was raw, ears infected, lost voice for days) we tested positive on day 3 …we stay home. my husband coughed HARD for 4 days, shook the house. Radleigh, i hope you and your husband heal fast. no i did not get the jab. i am in cancer treatment (8 masses), my body has had bad reactions to meds. i want to live alittle longer:) i pray everyone that is ill heal fast, study your classes while you are in stuck at home, it keeps you sane 🙂 thank you, did not mean to sound off. love, fast healing to you all
Theresa, I hope that you and your husband feel 100% really soon and I’m sending angels for those cancer treatments, too.
Sending prayer for your healing
This is beautiful Radleigh. Thank you
Thank you for this well-written insight! I can relate to my spouse feeling pain in a much different way than
I do. The best part of your blog is that we have to have the understanding of how others look at their lives (emotions, opinions, health, etc) so differently–individually– than we do. We are torn between a belief in duality and our egoic feeling of individuality and separateness. How can we change this? Truthfully Love is the answer! (Thanks, Radleigh and John Lennon!.) We can only exemplify and not force Love. So God/Goddess/Angels bless us all and remind us frequently to Love and not Judge.
Thank you for this blog. Love heals everything. So true.
All the best to you and your husband, angel blessings and quick and complete healing.
Hope you both feel much better very soon.
This is a world of differences and we have to build a bridge.
“Love can build a bridge
Between your heart and mine.
Don’t you think it’s time.
Cause when we stand together
It’s our finest hour.
We can do anything.”
~Wynonna and Naomi Judd
It will be almost a year since I had covid it was so scary I ended up in the hospital for 5 days had hard time breathing. I survived it but the after effects losing hair, joints aching so exhausted you want to cry gaining weight because to tired to exercise still haunt me. I thank God every day I came through it. Sending prayers to all to get better.