I wanted to share some thoughts with you. I have noticed on my pages and in my groups what seems like an unusual number of people having to process loss and grief right now. Of course, it might just be that because I’m in that space, I’m just more aware of others around me who are also in that space. But I am having a moment of clarity and I wanted to share some insights in hopes that it might help others.

It has been a month since Jace passed away. It simultaneously feels like it was last week and it also feels like an eternity ago. After he passed, Lee and I discussed what signs would be attributed as messages from him from the other side. We didn’t initially come up with something, but Jace quickly told us what he would be using. When on a walk with Riley that same day, a white butterfly and a blue dragonfly sat down on the same flower next to one another and then flew off.

Alrighty then. That works for me.

If you read last week’s blog, then you know that I just had surgery and we’re getting ready to move cross country. The surgery forced me into some downtime. As a part of that, I quietly asked Jace several times for a sign….

Keep in mind, that if a white butterfly flutters by or a blue dragonfly zips across my path, I mostly just take that to mean “Hey dad! I’m fine! I love you and I’m watching out for you.” I also have a tendency with all signs to pause and reflect on what was I thinking about in the moment that the sign presented itself. Not just signs from Jace, but also from the angels, the Divine, etc.

In my life, asking for a sign almost always gets me an immediate response. But not this past week. I asked Jace for a sign a couple of times over two days and didn’t see anything. Of course, maybe I just missed it. But in my mind, I remember thinking “Oh, well. Maybe he’s busy.” And then that got me thinking “Yeah, but busy doing what?”

My belief system includes the idea that time is irrelevant on the other side. And that includes the thought that whatever passed over loved ones are doing doesn’t preclude them popping in or arranging for a sign at any point in our lives because even if they are busy, at any moment that they’re not busy, they can send that sign into our human timeline when we asked for it.

I apologize for that run-on sentence. However, the idea begs the question if no sign is also a sign. But let’s carry that further.

A couple of days after I had asked for signs, but felt that I didn’t receive anything, I happen to look outside the window to see a white butterfly float past. “Oh, hello Jace! There you are! Thank you, and I love you.”

But why then? Why in that moment two days later? Was the absence of a sign earlier in the week meant as emphasis for the sign when it appeared? And what was I thinking in that moment that might have been more important?

I know all of this might seem very cerebral regarding a topic that is very spiritual and emotional. Don’t get me wrong, we are still grieving. We still trip over landmines and fall apart. The thing I’m dreading most about packing up this house for the move is that I am sure there are many other landmines hidden in drawers or thrown in closets that will reduce either Lee or me to tears.

But there are also moments like the one from which I’m writing this to you now. Times where I’m grounded enough to question and to process his absence as well as his spiritual presence in my life. When I am hurting or when an awful memory of those last two days happens to just pop into my mind (I hate that by the way) I have found that the best neutralizer I have is to just focus on how much love we shared and continue to share.

Just think about the love, Rad. Just think about the love.

When I have a grounded time that I can try to process these things, I try to stop what I’m doing and take it. Those moments don’t last that long. Trying to analyze it eventually makes the grief come back so I have to take those times when I get them and then move on.

But to circle back… if you’re asking for signs and feeling as though you didn’t receive one, have some patience. Give thought to the possibility that the sign is coming, but that the pause is to give more power and poignancy to the moment in which the sign finally does show up. Pay attention to your thoughts or what you are doing in the moment that the sign presents itself to consider if that is part of the message. This is true for all signs. Signs from angels, archangels, guides, passed over loved ones, and from Source itself. Trust that the sender of the sign probably knows more about what will help you than you do.

Oh. And when your heart hurts, focus on the love. 


Angel blessings,




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