This morning, I wound up having an unexpected conversation with a team member about what I am and am not afraid of. Frankly, the things I am most fearful of have been the ones that have been showing up a lot for me lately, so I guess I need to ask myself and the angels “Why is that?”
Painting from a very broad brush, I am not afraid of death. So far as I can tell (and I always leave room for the possibility that I’m fooling myself), I am not the slightest bit scared of leaving this plane for the other side. My trust and faith are strong. Metaphorically, I guess I just see it as the end of a video game. I’ll just go rest up before I start the next round. Though I will say that as planet earth gets crazier and crazier, I wonder if the next round will be on this world.
There are things that very much do scare me. I am very afraid of having to live with a debilitating illness. I am also scared of having to live past the loss of life of someone I love. Simply put, I suppose I am afraid of pain – emotional or physical.
I am also – for the most part – not afraid of the truth. Truth I can deal with. Truth you can take action upon and I am very much a person of action. What can sometimes scare me is the unknown. Not always, but sometimes a lack of clarity about the future can really unnerve me. Possibly like anything, it depends on the extent of the ramifications. Big unknowns can rattle me. Small ones, not so much.
Then there are the little things. I’m scared to death of spiders. And ticks. Oh, my gawd, a tick will send me into orbit! I’m scared of needles and terrified of dental work. The tiniest little problem with one of my dogs and I’m breathing into a brown paper bag.
I’m also scared of not living up to my potential. Of squandering a lifetime where I could have possibly made a bigger difference than I did.
If you are a regular follower of mine, then you can see the challenges I’ve recently been reflecting those fears. Jace’s cancer scare. Lee’s injury. I’ve also been having to go through dental issues for which there just isn’t enough valium in the world to calm me.
Being fair to myself, I am beyond courageous when it comes to helping those I love. I will be their rock of Gibraltar when they need me to. I can look headlong into a challenge (if I fully understand it) and make plans of action, dismiss what I cannot change, and forge on. My faith in the Divine is unshakeable and I know it.
A wise person would look at these places where I show courage and think “well then why even care about the small things that you’re afraid of?” Even I would say that, except that I also know that we are human. The strength of my courage is only as strong as a scary diagnosis for one of my dogs and I’m a total mess.
Being “awake” to the situations where I have strength allows me to find my way through the places where I am not as strong. Knowing that I can fight like a gladiator for those I love can remind me that I can also fight for myself if I just remember I have it in me.
Taking stock of where we have courage gives us the ability to shut down our fears.
Where are you strong? How could that help you to get through your current challenges?
Angel blessings,
~Radleigh
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Thank you for sharing this important topic. It’s so easy to focus on the areas of fear and forget all the moments of courage in a lifetime. Thank you for bringing that to my attention.
Hi Radleigh, so grateful for your honest words!!! I am the same with my wonderful cats – I have three and they rock my world! Usually my strength lies in my undeviating gut feeling which seems to be quiet sometimes (or else I’m not always in touch with my body’s consciousness) but is NEVER wrong.
Angel and unicorn blessings, Julia
Thank you Radleigh. This was a perfectly timed blog post. I too have been living with my fears. Fear of illness (anything to do with my eyes and brain beyond freak me out!), constantly worrying about my 3 cats (I’m coming more to the understanding that I will do what I can for them while I can, but know their life is unfortunately limited and therefore I am enjoying each moment) and then constantly thinking about outliving my partner. Like you, I am not afraid of death but of the pain. I don’t want to suffer and feel my emotional well being cannot take anymore. So I am working on being in the now, turning to my cards and my entire Spirit Team (including the Angels!) for support. It’s tough because the monkey chirps in, but I just acknowledge it, thank it and then loving send it on its way. I’m human, but this post resonated with me so much! Love to you all xoxo
Thank you so much for your message of tha wisdom
Thanks for your post!!! I am also struggling with my fears. Taking a decision is being hold by me because I’m afraid of loosing my children (which I think it is my biggest fear). Even though I’ve been told many times by the Angels to let it go I’m still doubting
Thank you, Radleigh. I love this and I needed it right now (of course I did). Much love to you.
Dear Radleigh,
Writing from Sweden. I think you are very brave that you share about your fears. It is so important to feel that even you as a “public person” who teaches about tarot etc, that you also have your struggles like all of us humans.
That you have the strength to share! Thank you very much!
Every time I read one of your posts, I get a feeling of relief that I sometimes experience (though rarely) of knowing that I’m not alone in this world and there actually are other people out there who feel & think along similar lines as me. As always, I could relate to so much in this post it’s uncanny (right now I’m trying not to think too hard about how many more years I can avoid a trip to the dentist:)). But do you know the thing that really struck me about this post? When you said, “Though I will say that as planet earth gets crazier and crazier, I wonder if the next round will be on this world.”
I absolutely agree with all the people who say it’s vital to keep our mindset positive and our thoughts focused on the light as much as possible. But I’ve become weary of hearing repeatedly that all around us humanity is waking up & we’re rapidly becoming more evolved than we’ve ever been. Even a cursory glance at the state of the world should make clear that this is simply not true for the vast majority of human beings, and I’m sure I would find life much easier to navigate if those of us who believe in New Age thinking could also occasionally acknowledge that all is currently NOT well on Planet Earth & it can be a hard road for those of us who ARE awake to travel. And your gentle sentence is a wonderful example of how it’s possible to acknowledge the situation we find ourselves in without dwelling on negativity.
Just the fact we’re living through the 6th great species extinction is a heartbreak that for an animal lover like me never quite goes away, no matter how much I surrender my feelings to the Infinite or try to remember that it’s a predictable outcome of the age we’re all living in. I feel this ever-present ache so strongly that lately I’ve come to hoping that, if I could get just one wish for my next lifetime, it would be to incarnate on a planet where animals and nature are loved, respected and cared for, because I truly don’t think I could bear the heartache of another brutal experience like this one. And if it’s possible that this desperate wish of mine might possibly come true, then it’s pretty much IM possible for me to see how I would come back to live on Planet Earth. Which leaves me feeling even more isolated than ever from everyone around me.
So from the bottom of my heart I say THANK YOU Radleigh; thank you for helping me to feel yet again that I’m not completely alone in this beautiful and unique, but also heartbreakingly sad world. And that it’s possible to be both light and faith focused AND awake to the realities of our current predicament here on Earth. I can’t tell you how much it helps to hear that acknowledgement from someone who manages to be both as wise and as joyfully uplifting as you do.